学习笔记 3 - Narcissism, Lies & Delusion (谎言与错觉) - 小铜 的网络笔记

（中文翻译在下面）

资料来源：https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcWwMwbRVrU

作者：Frank E.Yeomans，医学博士、博士

Somebody who has narcissistic pathology and you find them saying things that don’t seem to correspond to reality. The question about lying is if they believe what they’re saying and in that case it wouldn’t be a lie it would be self-delusion or if they actually are aware that it is not true but they are saying it anyways in which case it would be a lie and sometimes it is hard to tell.

Generally going to be self-deluding so that they feel ok and not intentionally lying to someone or can they also still lie to get their goals met. It could be both, but the kind of person who seeks psychotherapy generally is more the former, and they are suffering. Why do they have to delude themselves, because they feel worthless. And it’s really sad we have to talk about what gives a person a sense of value and it sounds a little corny and sentimental but it’s essentially the feeling that somebody’s lovable and a lot of people grow up without that feeling there are all kinds of contributing factors to that. But if you are going through life and you don’t feel there is anything lovable about you that people will appreciate you just as a human being, then you have to come up with some kind of special story or narrative that gives you value, that’s where we as therapists have to be very tactful.

有自恋症的人，你会发现他们说的话似乎与现实不符。关于撒谎的问题是，如果他们相信自己所说的话，在这种情况下，这不会是谎言，这将是自欺欺人，或者如果他们真的意识到这不是真的，但他们无论如何都在说，在那种情况下，那将是谎言，有时很难说。

通常情况下，他们会自欺欺人，这样他们就感觉很好，不会故意对某人撒谎，或者他们仍然会撒谎以实现自己的目标。两者都有可能，但寻求心理治疗的人通常更倾向于前者，他们正在遭受痛苦。为什么他们必须自欺欺人，因为他们觉得自己毫无价值。我们不得不谈论是什么给了一个人价值感，这听起来有点老套和伤感，这真的很可悲，但本质上是一种感觉，一个人很可爱，很多人在成长过程中都没有这种感觉，这其中有各种各样的因素。但是，如果你正在经历生活，你觉得自己身上没有什么可爱的东西，会让人们欣赏你，那么你必须想出一些特殊的故事或叙事来给你价值，这就是我们作为治疗师必须非常委婉的地方。